Personal Essays

On Father’s Day, Grief Tastes Like Berry Cobbler

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When Dad was here, we made olallieberry jam on Father’s Day. Now that he’s gone, our sweet tradition has evolved. 

The Big Question and the Perfect Answer

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It isn't easy asking a dying person what they believe comes next. But my philosopher dad knew just what to say.

Into the Unknown

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My dead fiancé loved Anthony Bourdain. When I heard the beloved chef and TV personality had died, I imagined the two of them, finally, breaking bread.

A Fitting Farewell in Atlantic City

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Here’s how we said goodbye to my clever, caustic, complicated mother.

Dad-Die Issues

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Death brings up so many feelings and conversations. Plans to be made. Legacies to cement. I had none of that.

Time Machine in a Timepiece

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In telling me he wanted me to have his beloved watch, Dad was also letting me know his days were numbered.

Writing With Heart From Behind Bars

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I teach memoir writing at a prison. One week, the topic was loss. My students really went there — and so did I.

After a Teenager’s Death, Metaphors Fail

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My friend's 16-year-old daughter was hit by a car and I struggled to write about it. Because no words can truly encapsulate the zero of grief.

Purple Rain on Father’s Day

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My dad and the rock star Prince had everything and nothing in common. This is the time of year I feel their absence most acutely.

What This Mother Told Her Dying Son

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Her words were perfect.

Sewing - Modern Loss

The Sewing Blogs Were My Salvation

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After my baby died, I didn’t know what to do with my hands. But then I found the sewing blogs.

My Mother’s Day Trifecta

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I lost my mom, my stepmom, and my dream of mothering a child of my own. On Mother’s Day, people say the darndest things to me.

What I Did With My Husband’s Life Insurance Money

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During the rawest moments of my grief, what I bought helped me breathe easier.

The Autopsy Report Should Have Been Anticlimactic. It Was Anything But.

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My beloved husband died, leaving me with three children and another on the way. But it was a letter from the coroner’s office that did me in.

‘Congratulate Kim on Her Work Anniversary’

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The upside of LinkedIn’s reminder about my dead friend.  

What I Tell My Kids About Their Brother Who Died Before They Were Born

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Even in Seamus' absence, our four-person household continues to feel to us like a family of five.

Does Moving Away Mitigate Grief?

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Thousands of miles now separate me from the landmarks of my memories with Dad. Here's what the distance has changed — and what it hasn't.

My Wedding Gown’s Last Dance

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In an excerpt from the new Modern Loss book, Lucy Kalanithi, the widow of "When Breath Becomes Air" memoirist Paul Kalanithi, describes leaving her bridal gown behind — in the most unconventional of settings.

The Billy Joel Concert That Saved Me

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By taking me to that show, what remained of my family in the aftermath of my son’s suicide was telling me, ‘Please come back to us. We still need you.’

The Lights and Lessons of Toro Nagashi, the Japanese Candle Boat Ceremony

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I missed a lifelong friend’s funeral. But I honored him all the same.

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