Personal Essays

Aerial view of a fire-ravaged hillside in Altadena after the Eaton Fire, with blackened trees and ash-covered foundations surrounding a single intact, light-colored house still standing amid widespread destruction; smoke hangs in the sky.

My House Didn’t Burn. So Why Don’t I Feel Lucky?

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A year after the Eaton Fire, I see ambiguous loss everywhere.

Aubrey Plaza and Maisy Stella in My Old Ass – scene related to trauma and grief themes

Lo que “Mi yo del futuro” quiere que sepas sobre los “hubieras”, el amor y el duelo.

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Perder al amor de mi vida me enseñó la diferencia entre el anhelo y el arrepentimiento.

Maisy Stella meets the older version of herself, Aubrey Plaza in My Old Ass (Photo courtesy of Prime)

‘My Old Ass,’ Young Love’s Grief, and the ‘What Ifs’ We Carry

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Losing the love of my life taught me the difference between longing and regret.

4 Ways That Grief Rage Taught Me About Self-Preservation and Healing

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Losing both parents left me furious—at family, at the medical system, at myself. Here's what I learned from it.

Why I Stopped Trying to Cherish Every Moment

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Grieving and mothering changed how I hold joy, pain, and memory—all at the same time.

Dear Noah Kahan, ‘Godlight’ Helped Me Survive Perinatal Loss

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Thank you for the lyrics that somehow understood my soul and this seemingly impossible grief journey.

Writing the Story My Mother Never Got to Tell

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Long after her death, I used the tools of journalism to reckon with memory, regret, and love.

House with darkened windows and two lighted rooms

My Landlord Died From Cancer While We Sheltered In Place Together

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What it felt like to watch her slow, surreal demise during a slow, surreal moment in the world.

Grief Is My Neurodivergence

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I had trouble relating to my son's ADHD – until my muddled mind schooled me after his sudden death.

sound waves

Chemo Stole My Dad’s Hearing. Then, My Daughter Heard Her First Sound.

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Our family's circular journey through cochlear implants, loss, and good vibrations.

A group of three sad emoji faces

It’s Okay to Not Be Okay After a Stressful Political Outcome

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I'm struggling to keep bleak thoughts at bay after the U.S. election. But grieving now is the best gift we can give to ourselves and our communities.

Megaphone shouting "Four More Years!"

Kids Who Die – and Their Families – Deserved a Second Term

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A longer, healthier, carefree life is something most of us take for granted, but one that many parents can’t fathom.

Blurred image of a pregnant belly

Time Moves Differently When You’re Pregnant and Your Toddler is Dying

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As a healthy baby grew inside me, my focus was on actively mothering my dying daughter.

The Second Burial

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After my dad's sudden death, I had to delete his digital omnipresence over, and over, and over again.

A Trauma Therapist’s 3-Part Holiday Grief Plan

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Advice on dealing with All The Feelings during a complicated season.

Is There Sex After Death?

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Burying your two children shrivels your dick up like a motherf*cker, but my wife and I found our way back to each other.

When ‘Fine’ Is Anything But

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After my father's death, my journey from calm, to hysterical, to something even worse.

After My Husband’s Death, I Found Myself Again through Mr. Mister and Mexico

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The cathartic power of briefly shedding the label of 'grieving widow with young kids' and briefly feeling free

I Met My Fiancé in a Modern Loss Support Group

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When I logged onto Zoom to lead a session on friendship, my true love was waiting in the grid.

Mi luto en azul

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Tras la muerte de mi mamá, encontré un nuevo significado en mi color favorito de siempre.

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