Father Loss

Rules for Father’s Day

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I find joy in what was. What might have been is more painful. 

Att vara äldre än min pappa

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Jag har aldrig slutat att gråta för allt han har gått misste om. Men när jag passerade åldern då han dog, ändrades något.

What It Feels Like to Be Older Than My Father

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I've never stopped crying for all that he has missed. But as I passed the age at which he died, something changed.

The Rules of Grief Do Not Apply

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My father died during the Covid-19 lockdown in London. The absence of support felt so surreal that I wondered if I could pretend his death never really happened.

He Blinded Me With Zients

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My family came to America to escape conscription in the Czar’s army. Today, my cousin, the Covid Czar, is trying to help save America.

My Father, the Pandemic, and Thoughts on Abandonment

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For nearly a year we were ignored by the people charged with our safety. From personal experience, I know the psychological toll will be significant.

‘Don’t Forget This Happened’

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A COVID-era plea on World AIDS Day

Saying Kaddish Into the Screen

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After my father died, a weekly memorial gathering connected me to community when I needed it most. Then came COVID.

My Little Fictions Legacy

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Dad applied his gifts for narrative to everything from pornography to children's stories. One of those brought my son and him together after he died.

‘The Only Way Out Is Through’

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I was 18 when my dad died and not one member of my supportive South Asian network recommended therapy. Here's why they should have.

‘Your Papa Is Right Here’

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After my husband died, an old friend asked me what he could offer me, beyond words. I thought of something that our young sons could treasure.

My Father’s Death Changed the Way I Think About Time

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I was always running minutes, even hours, behind. Not anymore.

Are You There Dad? It’s Me, Samantha.

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Two years after my father's mysterious death, I'm finally embracing his life lessons as a way to live mine.

A Missing Gravestone in the ‘Garden of Fairies’

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We went to the cemetery to visit dad — only to find out what wasn’t there.

What My Grief Feels Like: An Illustrated Guide

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It changes your body, sometimes in ways you can see and always in ways you can't.

We Held a Fake Wedding So My Dying Dad Could Be There

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Bridal magazines don’t really cover these unglamorous issues.

Forgiveness, Father’s Day and Finding a Way Though

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I screwed up my dad's birthday a long time ago. His reaction continues to teach me lessons years after his death.

The Myth of Protecting People from Suffering

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When we try to shield people from pain in an effort to not break their hearts, we end up doing just the opposite.

Important Guidelines for Large Adult Orphans

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On the one hand, you must become both parent and child; on the other, you may request to to be flown to Rome for a pasta dinner.

‘My Death Stories Are My Birth Stories’

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That precious, precarious, otherworldly state of giving birth reminded me of something else: grief.

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