Personal Essays

Joan Rivers and Her ‘Screw You!’ to Suicide

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Joan's insistence on yanking the word 'suicide' out of the shadows endeared her to many survivors -- especially me.

The Obituarist

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After escaping the World Trade Center on 9/11, I left Wall Street to become a professional obituary writer. I never looked back.

Labor Day Love and Loss on Lake George

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I tell my son about my idyllic summers on Lake George — just not about the Labor Day tragedy that followed one of them.

Saying I Do, and Saying Farewell

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Eleven days after marrying the love of my life, I stared at his lifeless body and said goodbye.

Across the Pond, a Lesson in British Mourning

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A North American transplant, I'd spent years trying unsuccessfully to master British restraint. Never did I feel more at home as an expat than at my first British funeral.

Between Death and Goodbye

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Before my wife's body was taken away — and her final organs harvested — I was able to spend a few precious moments with the woman I loved.

Fighting White Privilege, Grieving My White Mother

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The problems with international adoption are many. But I cannot reject the mother who raised me — especially in her absence.

The Words We Couldn’t Say

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As my daughter grew inside of me, my best friend's pregnancy ended in stillbirth. Comforting her felt impossible.

Home, Not Home

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After my brother died suddenly, everything about my hometown felt all wrong — until it didn't.

Living a Year as if It Were My Last

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As my childhood friend was dying of cancer, I embarked on a 365-day experiment in living.

Letter of Last Resort

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Had I unknowingly destroyed my father's suicide note all those years ago?

Not So ‘Crazy,’ After All

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How my sister’s cancer death changed the way I approach my own health care choices.

Dorm-Room Mourning

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After my mom's death, my dorm room was an embarrassing place for grief.

What Mom Would Have Thought of the Kardashian Clan

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I missed my mother at my wedding, and at the birth of my children. But the real reason I wish she was still here is to discuss reality TV with me.

From a Distance

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Sixteen years after my brother’s suicide, keeping his memory alive finally feels less a burden — and more a privilege.

My Father, Myself

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On the anniversary of Dad’s death, I honored him by spending a leisurely day, uncharacteristically, alone.

Mourning the Dad Who Walked Out on Me

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My dad walked out on me when I was nine. All grown up, I decided to find him — only to find out he was dead. Here's how I mourned.

Those Final Moments

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When I think about my mom, much of the time I recall not her life, but her horrific death while on an island vacation.

A Race Against Time

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Throughout my daughter's illness — and in the aftermath of her death — my treadmill has been a loyal companion.

From My Inbox, a Grim Reminder

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The school district emailed to remind me about kindergarten registration. The thing is, my younger daughter died two years ago.

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