Spouse Loss

Rules for Father’s Day

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I find joy in what was. What might have been is more painful. 

‘Your Papa Is Right Here’

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After my husband died, an old friend asked me what he could offer me, beyond words. I thought of something that our young sons could treasure.

Young Widowhood in the Time of Corona 

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While we’re 'all in this together,' my experience is very much my own. Here's how I am learning to navigate the space between personal and collective grief. 

His Beautiful Death

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As my love lay dying beside me, I transformed our cold hospital room into a sacred space.

I Am a ‘Tragedy Trust Funder’

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A modest surprise inheritance from my late husband allows me to raise my two young kids without having to go to work. So why do I feel so guilty about it?

We Left Everything Unsaid

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When my husband got sick, we focused exclusively on hope; when he died, I was consumed with regret.

It’s All ‘Grief Yoga’

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After my husband died, I brought a towel to exercise class to mop tears — not sweat.

To the Widowed Dad on Father’s Day

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Being a ‘good enough’ parent is precisely what your grieving children need.

Grief Looks a Lot Like ‘Crazy’

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And other things the Netflix series 'Dead to Me' gets right about young widowhood. (No spoilers here.)

‘Smad’ and Other Words Born of Grief

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In the year since my husband died, there have been many lessons — and a few new vocabulary words.

Cable News (Support) Network

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The year after my husband died, Mika, Rachel and Lawrence kept me company.

Saving the Date for a Wedding That Will Never Take Place

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I was supposed to be married on November 9, but tragedy stopped this self-proclaimed ‘Bridezilla’ in her tracks.

Why I Told Anne Lamott My Husband Died

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I promised myself I wouldn’t, but then I opened up to a writer I’ve long admired about the most surreal, unbelievable thing that has ever happened to me.  

When My Husband Died, Facebook Became My Boyfriend

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Some people see social media as a trigger during times of great suffering. But after my husband died, it helped me stay afloat amid my grief.

That Could Have Been Us

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It can be painful to see people so obviously in love when I’m breaking inside, but it’s not other young couples that make me fall apart.

Into the Unknown

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My dead fiancé loved Anthony Bourdain. When I heard the beloved chef and TV personality had died, I imagined the two of them, finally, breaking bread.

The Autopsy Report Should Have Been Anticlimactic. It Was Anything But.

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My beloved husband died, leaving me with three children and another on the way. But it was a letter from the coroner’s office that did me in.

The Bread I Still Can’t Bear To Bake

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Some people say grief is bitter, but I say it is nutty whole-wheat flavored, slightly sweet with molasses.

My Wedding Gown’s Last Dance

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In an excerpt from the new Modern Loss book, Lucy Kalanithi, the widow of "When Breath Becomes Air" memoirist Paul Kalanithi, describes leaving her bridal gown behind — in the most unconventional of settings.

John Duberstein Nina Riggs Lucy Kalanithi Modern Loss

My Guide to Finding Love After Loss

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A totally conventional and easily followed roadmap to emotional transition, by the widower of "The Bright Hour" author.

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