My Loss

‘Querida Amor’

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My father was scary to me except on Valentine’s Day. When he died, those treacly annual expressions of fatherly love went with him.

His Sister Was Dying as We Were Falling in Love

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I learned of her illness shortly after our first date. Her absence remains a presence still.

Big Black Sunglasses Modern Loss

My Big Black Sunglasses

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I bought a pair to shield myself during my mother's demise. Little did I know they'd lovingly do so through all types of loss.

My Cat’s Death Broke My Brain

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It wasn’t just my heart that went to pieces when she left my side.

Manhattan skyline - Modern Loss

Welcome to New York

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Suddenly worth half a million dollars through the dumb luck of my dad's death, I rooted myself to a new and unfamiliar home.

The Good Work of Providing Good Food for Solace

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Some delicious and nourishing ways to lift the burden of cooking from a grieving person's shoulders.

How I’m Dealing with Climate Grief

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Sometimes I'm grateful my mom is dead—she gets to avoid witnessing the devastation on Earth. Getting involved in climate justice has given me hope.

The Perverse Pleasure of Grief

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I was repeatedly told to 'get over' my double losses. Instead, I reveled in their depths and heights.

Twitter for Eternity   

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I wish I had more letters from my mother, more time with her, more everything. What I do have, though, is her 16.7K tweets.

Our Most-Read Stories of 2018

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Here are the Modern Loss pieces you loved.

New Year’s Resolutions for the Emotionally Infirm, the Crushed, and the Weary

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4 ways (and more) for grieving souls to cut themselves a break in the new year.

Unmet Love

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I never ‘met’ the babies I lost, but I love them.

My Brother’s Christmas-Themed Funeral

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Alan lived with a rare genetic disorder that made him unpredictable, child-like and full of wonder. When he died at age 43, his memorial service was unique as he was.

The Christmas Anthem I Needed To Hear

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I spent years avoiding the favorite song a friend lost to suicide. But last December, I listened anew.

The Good China That Will Outlive Us All

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After my mom’s death and my sister’s suicide, the dishes they left behind are newly sentimental.

Painting With the Children of Newtown

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The experience I had in Sandy Hook changed me at a cellular level.

A Year of Grief, 15 Seconds at a Time

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After my dad's murder, Instagram served as both my grief counselor and a surprising professional outlet.

‘Smad’ and Other Words Born of Grief

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In the year since my husband died, there have been many lessons — and a few new vocabulary words.

A Therapist Says Goodbye

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We are not ‘friends’ with those we treat. But many of our patients make a very deep and lasting impression on us.

The Modern Loss Holiday Gift Guide — 2018

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From scalp whisks to s’mores to soups that arrive at your doorstep, these gifts for the grieving say ‘the holidays are rough, but I love you.’

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