My Loss

My Father, the Pandemic, and Thoughts on Abandonment

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For nearly a year we were ignored by the people charged with our safety. From personal experience, I know the psychological toll will be significant.

The Virus Before and The One That Came After

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Time has helped ease my grief over my husband's death, but my grieving hasn’t stopped. The world, it seems, has caught up with me.

Things I’ve Been Meaning to Tell You About Your Funeral

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From a TV anchor mourner to a dive bar 'post-party,' you really would've loved it.

Will I Be All Right Again in 2021?

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In 2019 my mom died. In 2020 we had a family suicide, a botched burial, and a catastrophic pandemic. Now, I’m looking ahead to 2021 — with (gasp!) hope.

Radio sound waves

The Power of Public Mourning

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Listeners of the 'Death, Sex & Money' podcast were invited to hold space for their 2020 losses. Here's what happened.

‘Tis the Season for Hot Widower Movie Dads

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Apparently, sad dads are sexy and sad moms are a burden. But who am I to complain? Here are my top four.

Modern Loss 2020 gift guide

A Gift Guide for Grievers (and Those Who Love Them)

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From ego-boosting apparel to frame-worthy puzzles to an instant community, these gifts say ‘I know the holidays are rough, and I'm here for you.'

‘Don’t Forget This Happened’

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A COVID-era plea on World AIDS Day

A Person Is a World

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My mother’s death was followed closely by the pandemic — creating this strange and still and endless space in which everyone is grieving something.

How the Modern Loss Holiday Gift Swap Sparked a Powerful Friendship

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We were complete strangers who disentangled our lonely and complex feelings about grief together.

You Don’t Have to Be Festive if You Don’t Want to Be

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As a young widow, I'm used to the holidays sucking. I'm here to encourage you to fly whatever flag you need to get through this season.

Modern Loss Self Care

It’s Time to Build Your Self-Care Routine

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Grief gives us little control over ourselves, so it’s vital to control what we can by nourishing our needs. Here are some ideas.

Countdown to Forever

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Sydney, the dog my ex and I share, is dying. How do I say goodbye? 

Miscarriage after IVF - Modern Loss

I Had a Miscarriage After IVF

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A year later, I still can't bring myself to try the process again.

How Day of the Dead Gave Me Life

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Embracing the Mexican tradition helped me deal with my anger after my mom's death.

What I Wish I Could Tell My Younger Grieving Self

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45 years after my mom died, I finally know the impact of loss across time.

Saying Kaddish Into the Screen

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After my father died, a weekly memorial gathering connected me to community when I needed it most. Then came COVID.

The GOP Won’t Stop Texting My Dead Dad

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My father died before the pandemic and the election season's fever pitch. Now, every political ping reminds me of the first time we were truly divided.

Hoe Ik Het Rouwvocabulaire Maak Dat Mist in Onze Taal

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Sterkte. Dat is wat we in het Nederlands zeggen om elkaar kracht te wensen als er iets moeilijks is gebeurd. We wensen elkaar nooit zachtheid of de openheid om het allemaal te kunnen ervaren.

How I’m Creating the Grief Vocabulary My Language Doesn’t Have

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The Dutch wish each other strength to move through tough times. But in loss, we need different words of support.

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