Personal Essays

The Gifts of ‘Grief Brain’

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Even as life propelled me forward, I was no longer the same person I had been before Rob’s death. More specifically: My thinking had changed.

His Beautiful Death

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As my love lay dying beside me, I transformed our cold hospital room into a sacred space.

My Boyfriend Died — and There’s No Word for My Loss

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He was the man I had hoped to marry, but others see our relationship in more ambiguous terms.

GRIEF BACON: That Time I Smelled Like Booze and Old Cake

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After my husband's sudden death, I ate, drank and sobbed my way through entirely unstable territory.

Processing My Friend’s Death in the Sound Studio

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My podcast helped me work through who I am - and who I want to be - when I was questioning everything.

12 Ways I Needed Support After My Baby Died

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Society needs to do better with sharing the burden carried by bereaved parents. Here's how.

Dressing the Dead

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My mother-in-law and I were not close, but when she died I was tasked with this surprisingly intimate choice.

‘Was She Sick?’

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Depression killed my innately joyful sister. When people ask how she died, this is how I respond.

How My Dying Mom and I Learned to Meditate

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Ironically, a practice we'd always joked about brought us even closer together.

My Therapist Is No Longer a Phone Call Away

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She counseled me through my young husband's death, through raising children, blending families, and so much more. Now she's gone.

Losing My ‘Naming Rights’

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A cousin named her daughter after my mom before I could.

My Father’s Death Changed the Way I Think About Time

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I was always running minutes, even hours, behind. Not anymore.

‘At Least You’re Not Having Twins’

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As a mother of twins, responses to my latest pregnancy announcement are all over the map. But amid a private loss, one remark cuts to the bone.

2020: The Year Mom Didn’t Live To See

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We made it past Thanksgiving and Christmas. Now comes everything after.

My Bizarre Childhood Wish Showed Up in My Mom’s Cremains

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I found the one piece of her that didn't get scattered.

The Neverending Battle of Fall and Winter

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Charlotte, my daughter, was murdered at Sandy Hook. Here is how I cope during 'anniversary season.'

Are You There Dad? It’s Me, Samantha.

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Two years after my father's mysterious death, I'm finally embracing his life lessons as a way to live mine.

It’s The Worst Wonderful Time of The Year

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I'm heading into my first 'festive' seasonal stretch after my husband's death and have no clue what I'll do. Weirdly, that's ok.

Animal Husbandry for Dragons

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What if we try caring for our pain, instead of trying to control it?

A Missing Gravestone in the ‘Garden of Fairies’

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We went to the cemetery to visit dad — only to find out what wasn’t there.

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