Spouse or Partner

Grief Bacon: Pressuring Myself

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My husband's hands were the cool compress that soothed my migraines. After his opiate overdose, I'm struggling to replace his healing touch with my own.

How to Widow

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16 steps to start navigating the winding path of life with a dead partner

A Surviving Partner’s Guide to Surviving a Pandemic Hallmark Holiday

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5 ways to give yourself what you deserve on Valentine’s Day — and every day — when you’re missing a dead partner.

‘Smad’ and Other Words Born of Grief

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In the year since my husband died, there have been many lessons — and a few new vocabulary words.

Cable News (Support) Network

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The year after my husband died, Mika, Rachel and Lawrence kept me company.

We All Have ‘That Ex.’ Mine Died.

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What it means to lose somebody who isn’t your somebody anymore.

Saving the Date for a Wedding That Will Never Take Place

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I was supposed to be married on November 9, but tragedy stopped this self-proclaimed ‘Bridezilla’ in her tracks.

Why I Told Anne Lamott My Husband Died

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I promised myself I wouldn’t, but then I opened up to a writer I’ve long admired about the most surreal, unbelievable thing that has ever happened to me.  

When My Husband Died, Facebook Became My Boyfriend

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Some people see social media as a trigger during times of great suffering. But after my husband died, it helped me stay afloat amid my grief.

That Could Have Been Us

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It can be painful to see people so obviously in love when I’m breaking inside, but it’s not other young couples that make me fall apart.

Into the Unknown

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My dead fiancé loved Anthony Bourdain. When I heard the beloved chef and TV personality had died, I imagined the two of them, finally, breaking bread.

What I Did With My Husband’s Life Insurance Money

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During the rawest moments of my grief, what I bought helped me breathe easier.

The Autopsy Report Should Have Been Anticlimactic. It Was Anything But.

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My beloved husband died, leaving me with three children and another on the way. But it was a letter from the coroner’s office that did me in.

The Bread I Still Can’t Bear To Bake

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Some people say grief is bitter, but I say it is nutty whole-wheat flavored, slightly sweet with molasses.

My Wedding Gown’s Last Dance

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In an excerpt from the new Modern Loss book, Lucy Kalanithi, the widow of "When Breath Becomes Air" memoirist Paul Kalanithi, describes leaving her bridal gown behind — in the most unconventional of settings.

John Duberstein Nina Riggs Lucy Kalanithi Modern Loss

My Guide to Finding Love After Loss

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A totally conventional and easily followed roadmap to emotional transition, by the widower of "The Bright Hour" author.

Our Double-Widowed ‘I Love You’

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Goodbye used to mean until later that day. But for my fiancé and me, respective tragedies have rewired our brains.

‘Holy Shit, I’m Single Again’

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When the fog of my grief lifted and I began to think about dating, my old insecurities returned in a big way.

What Triggers Me Isn’t What You Think It Is

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Old photos and anniversaries don’t do me in the way one sitcom theme song does.

Our Christmas Décor Became a Metaphor for My Grief

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What is the protocol for embroidering a Christmas story that stops abruptly in the second chapter?

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