Modern Loss Favorites

Tips For Getting Through the Holidays When You’re Totally Sad

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Maybe someday the season won’t feel like someone is taking a melon baller to my heart, but for now getting through it is about knowing what to avoid and what to embrace.

We Left Everything Unsaid

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When my husband got sick, we focused exclusively on hope; when he died, I was consumed with regret.

When My Husband Died, Facebook Became My Boyfriend

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Some people see social media as a trigger during times of great suffering. But after my husband died, it helped me stay afloat amid my grief.

My Instagram Therapy

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With @textsforjohn, I can still walk through the world looking for things to share with my brother — even though he’s no longer here.

A Year of Grief, 15 Seconds at a Time

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After my dad's murder, Instagram served as both my grief counselor and a surprising professional outlet.

Missing the Goodbye

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For immigrant families like mine, loss can mean mourning from a great distance.

How To Write an Obituary: A Primer

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The tips you need for crafting a compelling true-life story (plus: examples of obits that got it right).

The Myth of Protecting People from Suffering

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When we try to shield people from pain in an effort to not break their hearts, we end up doing just the opposite.

‘Daddy, Daddy, Where Are You?’

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After 9/11 my son asked for his father dozens of times a day, everyday — for nine years.

No Unfinished Business?

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I’ll never know what my father would have thought about my life choices — the ones I would have asked his opinion about and the ones I wouldn’t have.

Are You My Papi?

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As a young man, I lost my father to AIDS-related illness. Now I search for echoes of him in the men I choose to love.

Father's Day listicle

Random Acts of Dadness

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From rejecting perfectly good restaurant food to donating to worthy causes, I'm spending the first Father's Day after my dad's death trying to emulate his character.

Gold Star Widow

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At my first Memorial Day conference for military families, I found kindred spirits among the brokenhearted.

7 Tips for Speaking with a Bereaved Mother

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How do you support someone going through the unimaginable? To begin with, don't say you can't imagine what they're going through.

4 Ways to Take Charge of Funeral Planning

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No need to be passive about it; you've got more options than you might think.

How I’m Making Mother’s Day My Bitch

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I've spent years wallowing on this Hallmark holiday, missing my dead mom. This time, though, I'm making it my own.

Meet My ‘Dead Mom Friends’ 

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I’ve found kinship (but no judgment or pity) among my friends — and even acquaintances — who have also experienced a loss of a parent. 

My Cat’s Death Broke My Brain

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It wasn’t just my heart that went to pieces when she left my side.

Mizuko Kuyo: Japan’s Powerful Pregnancy Loss Ritual

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At a Buddhist temple far from home, this ceremony provided me solace.

My Grief is F*cking Funny

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Why I never pass up a chance to laugh my ass off. Especially when I'm grieving.

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