Modern Loss Favorites

My Mom’s Violent Death Gave Me PTSD

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I had to remind myself, repeatedly, that my mom was dead. If I can imagine what it feels like to have dementia, this might be it. Having to be told the same bad news again and again and again.

How To Write an Obituary: A Primer

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The tips you need for crafting a compelling true-life story (plus: examples of obits that got it right).

The Myth of Protecting People from Suffering

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When we try to shield people from pain in an effort to not break their hearts, we end up doing just the opposite.

No Unfinished Business?

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I’ll never know what my father would have thought about my life choices — the ones I would have asked his opinion about and the ones I wouldn’t have.

Are You My Papi?

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As a young man, I lost my father to AIDS-related illness. Now I search for echoes of him in the men I choose to love.

Father's Day listicle

Random Acts of Dadness

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From rejecting perfectly good restaurant food to donating to worthy causes, I'm spending the first Father's Day after my dad's death trying to emulate his character.

Gold Star Widow

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At my first Memorial Day conference for military families, I found kindred spirits among the brokenhearted.

When My Husband Died, Facebook Became My Boyfriend

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Some people see social media as a trigger during times of great suffering. But after my husband died, it helped me stay afloat amid my grief.

A Year of Grief, 15 Seconds at a Time

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After my dad's murder, Instagram served as both my grief counselor and a surprising professional outlet.

7 Tips for Speaking with a Bereaved Mother

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How do you support someone going through the unimaginable? To begin with, don't say you can't imagine what they're going through.

4 Ways to Take Charge of Funeral Planning

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No need to be passive about it; you've got more options than you might think.

How I’m Making Mother’s Day My Bitch

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I've spent years wallowing on this Hallmark holiday, missing my dead mom. This time, though, I'm making it my own.

Meet My ‘Dead Mom Friends’ 

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I’ve found kinship (but no judgment or pity) among my friends — and even acquaintances — who have also experienced a loss of a parent. 

My Cat’s Death Broke My Brain

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It wasn’t just my heart that went to pieces when she left my side.

Sewing - Modern Loss

The Sewing Blogs Were My Salvation

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After my baby died, I didn’t know what to do with my hands. But then I found the sewing blogs.

Mizuko Kuyo: Japan’s Powerful Pregnancy Loss Ritual

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At a Buddhist temple far from home, this ceremony provided me solace.

My Grief is F*cking Funny

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Why I never pass up a chance to laugh my ass off. Especially when I'm grieving.

That Could Have Been Us

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It can be painful to see people so obviously in love when I’m breaking inside, but it’s not other young couples that make me fall apart.

Unmet Love

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I never ‘met’ the babies I lost, but I love them.

Dad’s Voice in the ‘Tower of Song’

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The last time I spoke to my father, the subject was, of all things, Leonard Cohen — the musician my dad believed brought 'punctuation to experience.'

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