My Loss

Facebook's legacy contact

My Facebook Page, After Me

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After years of blunders, the company finally hit the mark when it comes to death and loss by letting users choose what their networks can see after they die, and who can manage them.

The Half Life of Love

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Our first real date was on Valentine’s Day 10 years ago. Many times in the five years since my partner died, I’ve flashed back to that day when we became, officially, more than just friends.

A Day for Lovers, Without Mine

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On my first Valentine’s Day without Evelyn, I spent hours paging through old photographs. Those pictures speak to our love and her resolve, but they don’t tell the whole story.

No Man’s Land

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Between the time we decided to stop treatment and the time my baby son died, I felt desperately alone — pulled between my ‘cancer family’ still fighting to save their children and the bereaved families on the other side of this battle.

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Missing Dad on Super Bowl Sunday

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I could care less about football, but my late father loved it. And on the weekend of the big game, I feel his absence acutely.

The Voicemail Afterlife

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My grandma called daily and, I sometimes sent her to voicemail — rationalizing that I was just too busy to pick up. In the wake of her death, I cherish those recordings.

Looking Up at El Capitan

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Dying while doing what we love is how we’d all like to go out. But as I watched my friends risk everything for the thrill of the climb, I felt compelled to remind them of the difference between challenge and folly.

When Everything Scared Me

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After my parents died in a plane crash, there was grief, pain and loneliness. But above all, there was fear — until there wasn’t.

Losing Grandma Twice

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Dementia stole my grandmother long ago, leaving me to mourn her all over again when she died years later.

Second-Hand Grief

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Would the love of my life — reeling from the loss of her mother — ever be happy again?

Wild, Like Me

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In a sold-out movie theater, watching the film based on Cheryl Strayed's bestseller, I saw my own experience with mother loss play out on the big screen.

Older Than She Was

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I’ve officially lived longer than my mother did. Only now, on the other side, have I come to understand the life she lived.

My First Real World AIDS Day

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My father died of AIDS 22 years ago. For more than two decades, I avoided World AIDS Day. This year, I'm owning my history. Here's why.

Small Screen Refuge

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To distract ourselves from Dad's fatal diagnosis, my brother and I planted ourselves in front of the TV — inhaling a steady diet of "The Jetsons" and "The Dating Game."

Thanksgiving After Jack

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A few weeks before Thanksgiving, my 12-year-old son went out to play in the rain and never came home. That year, everything about the holiday just felt wrong.

On Thanksgiving, Hitting the ‘Reset’ Button

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We never had any holiday traditions, like the ones you see on TV. But in my mom's absence — and in her honor — I'm creating some.

Learning To Quiet My Mind

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After my young son's death, yoga and meditation changed the shape of my grief.

Closing My Eyes, Seeing My Father

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I refused to look at my dad in the morgue — a decision I came to second-guess. Then my father showed up in my dreams.

Around the World, Ashes in Tow

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After watching cancer kill my father, I booked a one-way 'tribute trip' overseas. I don't know when I'll be ready to return.

Close to Death

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I had just given birth to my third child and was training for a half-marathon when I had a heart attack. And as I lay in my hospital bed, I could hear the woman in the next room dying.

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