Personal Essays

Modern Loss Fathers Day

A Father’s Day Sale for the Recently Deceased Dad

By

I keep getting emails from Bed Bath & Beyond reminding me that “It’s Not Too Late To Find the Perfect Father’s Day Gift!” But in this case, it kind of is.

Why I’m Jealous of Grieving People

By

Dad died when I was 6, and life went on seemingly undeterred. All these years later, I find myself envious of those who have the chance to mourn.

Modern Loss Going Home

Going Home

By

After my dad's death, now it just feels like a house.

Love, Dad

By

On my 8th fatherless Father's Day, my dad found a way to send me a handwritten message from the grave.

Had I Sealed My Father’s Fate?

By

I'm a novelist and killed off the father character early in my first book. When my dad died unexpectedly soon after, I was wracked with guilt.

Was My Dead Ex Talking to Me From Inside the TV?

By

Was my dead ex talking to me from inside the TV?

Wishing My High School Classmate Had Made It to College

By

I didn't actually share some deep emotional bond with my high school classmate that warranted being so broken up about her suicide. But I was anyway.

Life’s Too Short to Wear Beige

By

I was a closeted gay woman surrounded by white-hued walls and yearning for my own colorful world. My sister's death changed everything.

Yes, You Should Binge-Watch Netflix Alone on Mother’s Day

By

Cut yourself a break on Mother's Day — with or without a dead partner.

I Hate That Mother’s Day Rips Me Apart with Sadness and Guilt

By

I know it's cliché, but the holiday still knocks me off my axis.

My Ectopic Pregnancy Nearly Killed Me

By

I’d dreamed of having a baby since my mother died. Then my body betrayed me.

How To Bury a War

By

It begins at a New Jersey diner, and ends as the last Holocaust survivor in our family was lowered into the ground.

The Best Things in My Life Came From My Brother’s Death

By

The best things in my life really did come out of my brother's death.

Why I Like Funerals More Than Weddings

By

"Four Weddings and a Funeral"? I'd rather watch "Four Funerals and a Wedding."

Dad’s Voice in the ‘Tower of Song’

By

The last time I spoke to my father, the subject was, of all things, Leonard Cohen — the musician my dad believed brought 'punctuation to experience.'

Executive Producing Your Own Goodbye

By

My father-in-law was a planner his entire life. The end was no exception.

Riding and Hiding in My Griefmobile

By

No matter how intense my feelings, my car always comes to the rescue, with available music, clean tissues, and much-needed privacy.

As My Wife’s Due Date Approached, My Mother Was Defying Death

By

I told myself she was holding on to meet the baby. My father and sister had other explanations.

And Visions of Baseball Danced in My Head

By

My mom found healing watching the Kansas City Royals. After she died, so did I.

Exercise in Avoidance

By

The walk home from school was long — like four-hours long the way we did it. But it kept us out of an apartment full of grief triggers.

1 … 11 12 13 14 15 … 21