Personal Essays

Modern Loss Going Home

Going Home

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After my dad's death, now it just feels like a house.

Love, Dad

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On my 8th fatherless Father's Day, my dad found a way to send me a handwritten message from the grave.

Had I Sealed My Father’s Fate?

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I'm a novelist and killed off the father character early in my first book. When my dad died unexpectedly soon after, I was wracked with guilt.

Was My Dead Ex Talking to Me From Inside the TV?

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Was my dead ex talking to me from inside the TV?

Wishing My High School Classmate Had Made It to College

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I didn't actually share some deep emotional bond with my high school classmate that warranted being so broken up about her suicide. But I was anyway.

Life’s Too Short to Wear Beige

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I was a closeted gay woman surrounded by white-hued walls and yearning for my own colorful world. My sister's death changed everything.

Yes, You Should Binge-Watch Netflix Alone on Mother’s Day

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Cut yourself a break on Mother's Day — with or without a dead partner.

I Hate That Mother’s Day Rips Me Apart with Sadness and Guilt

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I know it's cliché, but the holiday still knocks me off my axis.

My Ectopic Pregnancy Nearly Killed Me

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I’d dreamed of having a baby since my mother died. Then my body betrayed me.

How To Bury a War

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It begins at a New Jersey diner, and ends as the last Holocaust survivor in our family was lowered into the ground.

The Best Things in My Life Came From My Brother’s Death

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The best things in my life really did come out of my brother's death.

Why I Like Funerals More Than Weddings

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"Four Weddings and a Funeral"? I'd rather watch "Four Funerals and a Wedding."

Dad’s Voice in the ‘Tower of Song’

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The last time I spoke to my father, the subject was, of all things, Leonard Cohen — the musician my dad believed brought 'punctuation to experience.'

Executive Producing Your Own Goodbye

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My father-in-law was a planner his entire life. The end was no exception.

Riding and Hiding in My Griefmobile

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No matter how intense my feelings, my car always comes to the rescue, with available music, clean tissues, and much-needed privacy.

As My Wife’s Due Date Approached, My Mother Was Defying Death

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I told myself she was holding on to meet the baby. My father and sister had other explanations.

And Visions of Baseball Danced in My Head

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My mom found healing watching the Kansas City Royals. After she died, so did I.

Exercise in Avoidance

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The walk home from school was long — like four-hours long the way we did it. But it kept us out of an apartment full of grief triggers.

A Physical Place to Mourn a Virtual Friendship

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My friend and I encountered each other over social media and business travel. So it was complicated when he died, but my daily routine didn't change.

My 6 Years of Anticipatory Grief

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My daughter died after an unsuccessful heart transplant. But I've lived very real stages of loss since even before she entered the world.

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