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What to Keep When Someone Dies

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Banish guilt, set concrete limits, and other rules for figuring out what to save, store, and donate.

The Modern Loss Holiday Gift Guide — 2018

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From scalp whisks to s’mores to soups that arrive at your doorstep, these gifts for the grieving say ‘the holidays are rough, but I love you.’

The Good China That Will Outlive Us All

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After my mom’s death and my sister’s suicide, the dishes they left behind are newly sentimental.

Finding New Meaning in My ‘Tree of Life’ Necklace

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After my fiancé died, I took off my favorite pendant. After Pittsburgh, after Jeffersontown, I put it back on.

Traveling the World With My Daughter’s Ashes in Tow

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In Ireland, alongside an empathic stranger, I watched Rachel's cremains scatter with the wind. 

We All Have ‘That Ex.’ Mine Died.

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What it means to lose somebody who isn’t your somebody anymore.

How I Make Real Mom Friends After My Baby’s Death

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Bitching about parenthood anchors me to the present — and tests the waters for true connection.

Dude, Where’s My Grief?

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One guy’s journey through the murky territory of loss, and the map it has left behind.

The Clenching Curse

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Those hips don't lie. Even in grief.

I Was the One Who Made It

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My mom lost two babies before I was born. Sometimes it felt like I was living for all three of us.

The Ugliest Side of Grief

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Jealousy is already a tough emotion to grapple with. Pairing it with a stillbirth brings out a whole new monster.

The Show Must Go On

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My mom’s life went dark after cancer won out. But it didn’t mean my beloved theater-going had to as well.

Saying No to the Fourth

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After my mother died July 4th weekend, I tried to keep celebrating the holiday with cookouts and fireworks — until I found a better way.

Just Sit (and Other Simple Steps to Meditate Your Way Through Grief)

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My dad's meditation advice helped me to cope with his death -- and more. Here's how it can help you, too.

The World Cup My Mom Didn’t Live To See

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My late mother was an avid fan of the Peruvian national soccer team. This year “la Blanquirroja” is playing in its first World Cup in more than three decades. As I cheer them on, it’s impossible not to feel sadness and longing.

The Big Question and the Perfect Answer

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It isn't easy asking a dying person what they believe comes next. But my philosopher dad knew just what to say.

What This Mother Told Her Dying Son

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Her words were perfect.

The Autopsy Report Should Have Been Anticlimactic. It Was Anything But.

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My beloved husband died, leaving me with three children and another on the way. But it was a letter from the coroner’s office that did me in.

As My Wife’s Due Date Approached, My Mother Was Defying Death

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I told myself she was holding on to meet the baby. My father and sister had other explanations.

My Wedding Gown’s Last Dance

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In an excerpt from the new Modern Loss book, Lucy Kalanithi, the widow of "When Breath Becomes Air" memoirist Paul Kalanithi, describes leaving her bridal gown behind — in the most unconventional of settings.

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