Boyfriend Loss

Aerial view of a fire-ravaged hillside in Altadena after the Eaton Fire, with blackened trees and ash-covered foundations surrounding a single intact, light-colored house still standing amid widespread destruction; smoke hangs in the sky.

My House Didn’t Burn. So Why Don’t I Feel Lucky?

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A year after the Eaton Fire, I see ambiguous loss everywhere.

Maisy Stella meets the older version of herself, Aubrey Plaza in My Old Ass (Photo courtesy of Prime)

‘My Old Ass,’ Young Love’s Grief, and the ‘What Ifs’ We Carry

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Losing the love of my life taught me the difference between longing and regret.

Grieving Out Proud

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This Pride, I’m mourning openly—for my partner, the community that holds me, and the right to grieve just as fiercely as we celebrate.

After My Husband’s Death, I Found Myself Again through Mr. Mister and Mexico

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The cathartic power of briefly shedding the label of 'grieving widow with young kids' and briefly feeling free

Rules for Father’s Day

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I find joy in what was. What might have been is more painful. 

Taylor Hawkins

My Advice for Alison Hawkins

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Through interviewing 'rock widows,' I've learned being the partner of a famous musician has different elements of grief.

The Virus Before and The One That Came After

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Time has helped ease my grief over my husband's death, but my grieving hasn’t stopped. The world, it seems, has caught up with me.

You Don’t Have to Be Festive if You Don’t Want to Be

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As a young widow, I'm used to the holidays sucking. I'm here to encourage you to fly whatever flag you need to get through this season.

How I Found an Unexpected Gift in the Berkshire Hills

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My New York City apartment ceased being a happy place after my partner died. Over the years, and especially during this pandemic, my second home became my salvation.

‘Your Papa Is Right Here’

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After my husband died, an old friend asked me what he could offer me, beyond words. I thought of something that our young sons could treasure.

He Told Me to Get On With My Life — and Now, I Have

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10 years after my husband's suicide and a slew of shockingly unexpected struggles, I am finally living in the here and now.

A Widowed Mother’s Day à la COVID-19

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In the midst of a global pandemic, this day might actually feel a bit more aligned with what I want it to be.

Young Widowhood in the Time of Corona 

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While we’re 'all in this together,' my experience is very much my own. Here's how I am learning to navigate the space between personal and collective grief. 

His Beautiful Death

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As my love lay dying beside me, I transformed our cold hospital room into a sacred space.

My Boyfriend Died — and There’s No Word for My Loss

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He was the man I had hoped to marry, but others see our relationship in more ambiguous terms.

GRIEF BACON: That Time I Smelled Like Booze and Old Cake

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After my husband's sudden death, I ate, drank and sobbed my way through entirely unstable territory.

It’s The Worst Wonderful Time of The Year

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I'm heading into my first 'festive' seasonal stretch after my husband's death and have no clue what I'll do. Weirdly, that's ok.

I Am a ‘Tragedy Trust Funder’

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A modest surprise inheritance from my late husband allows me to raise my two young kids without having to go to work. So why do I feel so guilty about it?

We Left Everything Unsaid

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When my husband got sick, we focused exclusively on hope; when he died, I was consumed with regret.

21 Things I Hate — and Love — About Being a Widow

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Few things in life are black and white, especially in the wake of a death.

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