My Loss

Purple Rain on Father’s Day

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My dad and the rock star Prince had everything and nothing in common. This is the time of year I feel their absence most acutely.

What This Mother Told Her Dying Son

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Her words were perfect.

Sewing - Modern Loss

The Sewing Blogs Were My Salvation

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After my baby died, I didn’t know what to do with my hands. But then I found the sewing blogs.

My Mother’s Day Trifecta

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I lost my mom, my stepmom, and my dream of mothering a child of my own. On Mother’s Day, people say the darndest things to me.

What I Did With My Husband’s Life Insurance Money

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During the rawest moments of my grief, what I bought helped me breathe easier.

The Autopsy Report Should Have Been Anticlimactic. It Was Anything But.

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My beloved husband died, leaving me with three children and another on the way. But it was a letter from the coroner’s office that did me in.

‘Congratulate Kim on Her Work Anniversary’

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The upside of LinkedIn’s reminder about my dead friend.  

What I Tell My Kids About Their Brother Who Died Before They Were Born

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Even in Seamus' absence, our four-person household continues to feel to us like a family of five.

Does Moving Away Mitigate Grief?

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Thousands of miles now separate me from the landmarks of my memories with Dad. Here's what the distance has changed — and what it hasn't.

My Wedding Gown’s Last Dance

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In an excerpt from the new Modern Loss book, Lucy Kalanithi, the widow of "When Breath Becomes Air" memoirist Paul Kalanithi, describes leaving her bridal gown behind — in the most unconventional of settings.

The Billy Joel Concert That Saved Me

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By taking me to that show, what remained of my family in the aftermath of my son’s suicide was telling me, ‘Please come back to us. We still need you.’

My Instagram Therapy

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With @textsforjohn, I can still walk through the world looking for things to share with my brother — even though he’s no longer here.

The Lights and Lessons of Toro Nagashi, the Japanese Candle Boat Ceremony

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I missed a lifelong friend’s funeral. But I honored him all the same.

Vacant Seats

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I heard about Justice Scalia’s death at one of my last dinners with my beloved, if complicated, father. Months on, as the justice’s seat sat unfilled, so did Dad’s.

John Duberstein Nina Riggs Lucy Kalanithi Modern Loss

My Guide to Finding Love After Loss

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A totally conventional and easily followed roadmap to emotional transition, by the widower of "The Bright Hour" author.

Our Double-Widowed ‘I Love You’

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Goodbye used to mean until later that day. But for my fiancé and me, respective tragedies have rewired our brains.

What Triggers Me Isn’t What You Think It Is

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Old photos and anniversaries don’t do me in the way one sitcom theme song does.

I Was Given My Grandmother’s Name, But I Took Her Locket

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No matter how many stories I heard, my grandmother remained abstract to me. I needed something tangible to make my grandmother feel real to me.

The Museum of ‘Before’

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My mother's Facebook profile has become a small souvenir of life (and her) before she got sick.

Bereavement Group Dropout

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Around a table full of widow-baked cookies, I absorbed the most profound of all death clichés, and I was done.

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