Personal Essays

Had My Dog Come Back as a Squirrel? 

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My beloved beagle died, but he still seemed to inhabit our yard.

The Pittsburgh of My Dreams

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By day, I am aware that 23 years have passed since my father’s death. When I close my eyes, it’s a different story.

We All Have ‘That Ex.’ Mine Died.

By and

What it means to lose somebody who isn’t your somebody anymore.

Screening Calls for My Dead Son

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‘Sorry, he’s not here.’ You have no idea how sorry I am Eric’s not here.

Saving the Date for a Wedding That Will Never Take Place

By and

I was supposed to be married on November 9, but tragedy stopped this self-proclaimed ‘Bridezilla’ in her tracks.

Meet My ‘Dead Mom Friends’ 

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I’ve found kinship (but no judgment or pity) among my friends — and even acquaintances — who have also experienced a loss of a parent. 

Why I Told Anne Lamott My Husband Died

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I promised myself I wouldn’t, but then I opened up to a writer I’ve long admired about the most surreal, unbelievable thing that has ever happened to me.  

When My Husband Died, Facebook Became My Boyfriend

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Some people see social media as a trigger during times of great suffering. But after my husband died, it helped me stay afloat amid my grief.

What I Still Can’t Do

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Ten months after my sister’s death, I can laugh and smile. I can sometimes care about other people’s problems. I can’t listen to voicemails or write thank you notes or stop waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Grieving in a Broken Body

By and

I was badly injured in the accident that killed my mother. Never was I more at peace with her death than in those six months between the funeral and when I started walking again.

Built for Two, But Minus One

By and

Grief is one of the deep intimacies of our marriage. Our tandem riding reflects that.

The Un-Telling

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I shared our pregnancy news early — asserting that I wanted my community with me in joy, but also in potential sorrow. Now that I had miscarried, there were so many calls to make.

How I Rediscovered My Professional Drive After a Stillbirth

By and

For “The Americans” costume designer, returning to work turned out to mean more than just punching the clock

How I Make Real Mom Friends After My Baby’s Death

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Bitching about parenthood anchors me to the present — and tests the waters for true connection.

Dude, Where’s My Grief?

By and

One guy’s journey through the murky territory of loss, and the map it has left behind.

My Childhood’s Signature Scent

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The smell of tobacco brings my late father — and his favorite vice — back into my airspace.

The Clenching Curse

By and

Those hips don't lie. Even in grief.

That Could Have Been Us

By and

It can be painful to see people so obviously in love when I’m breaking inside, but it’s not other young couples that make me fall apart.

My Grief is F*cking Funny

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Why I never pass up a chance to laugh my ass off. Especially when I'm grieving.

I Was the One Who Made It

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My mom lost two babies before I was born. Sometimes it felt like I was living for all three of us.

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