Personal Essays

The Journey Cake

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The memory of a pastry my husband and I carried from Italy to L.A. carries me through my grief over his death.

How Can You Be Happy at a Time Like This?

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What it's like to have your mother die the week Trump was elected.

As a Gay Southern Christian, Rachel Held Evans Was My Lifeline

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The Church has never understood my existence. But Rachel did, and my grief over her death runs deep.

Important Guidelines for Large Adult Orphans

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On the one hand, you must become both parent and child; on the other, you may request to to be flown to Rome for a pasta dinner.

My Mom Wore a Sari So That I Could Run for Congress

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Memories of her valor, grace, and sense of self spurred me on during a campaign filled with racism and sexism.

Five Short Years, Five Whole Years

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Since my daughter was born, time has somersaulted, raced, oozed — giving me new perspective on the few years I had with my own mother.

Seeing My Daughter in Other People

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After she died, I was captivated by those who looked like her.

Modern Loss Avengers GOT

I Watched ‘The Avengers: Endgame’ and ‘Game of Thrones’ in the Same Week

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It was both masochism and meaningful, in the throes of grief over my mother's death.

‘My Death Stories Are My Birth Stories’

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That precious, precarious, otherworldly state of giving birth reminded me of something else: grief.

The Motherless Mother I’ve Become

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Life with loss has a new dimension that informs the joy — complicating it and sweetening it, too.

When Twinning is Losing

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With my aunt's death earlier this year, I lost a loving and uncanny living link to my dead mother - her identical twin.

My Complex Organ Donation Decision

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I declined to donate my daughter's organs before her death. But I can't help imagining saying yes to an act powerful enough to save another mother’s child.

My Hard, Lonely and Strangely Magical Trip through Young Widowhood

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Two years after my husband's death, good days have finally returned — and so have bad dreams.

Grief Bacon: Pressuring Myself

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My husband's hands were the cool compress that soothed my migraines. After his opiate overdose, I'm struggling to replace his healing touch with my own.

Masks - Modern Loss

Grief Bacon: The Masks I Wear

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My child's cancer diagnosis abruptly halted reflection on my own post-cancer body and soul. But after he died, it came roaring back.

A Heartthrob Dies, and a Generation Mourns

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Luke Perry suddenly vanished, and we’re left behind to face our own mortality.

Modern Loss financial literacy

5 Ways to Empower Children with Financial Responsibility

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Kids can start learning earlier than you think. The childhood lessons my parents taught me served as a powerful, lifelong legacy in the wake of their untimely and sudden deaths.

When You’re Everyone’s Favorite Grief Doula

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The first of my friends to lose a parent, I stand at the ready welcoming others into the club no one wants to join.

A Surviving Partner’s Guide to Surviving a Pandemic Hallmark Holiday

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5 ways to give yourself what you deserve on Valentine’s Day — and every day — when you’re missing a dead partner.

‘Querida Amor’

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My father was scary to me except on Valentine’s Day. When he died, those treacly annual expressions of fatherly love went with him.

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