Personal Essays

Saying No to the Fourth

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After my mother died July 4th weekend, I tried to keep celebrating the holiday with cookouts and fireworks — until I found a better way.

The World Cup My Mom Didn’t Live To See

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My late mother was an avid fan of the Peruvian national soccer team. This year “la Blanquirroja” is playing in its first World Cup in more than three decades. As I cheer them on, it’s impossible not to feel sadness and longing.

My Dad Was Dying While I Was Divorcing

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I vowed never to speak with my ex-husband again. Then my father was diagnosed with leukemia.

On Father’s Day, Grief Tastes Like Berry Cobbler

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When Dad was here, we made olallieberry jam on Father’s Day. Now that he’s gone, our sweet tradition has evolved. 

The Big Question and the Perfect Answer

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It isn't easy asking a dying person what they believe comes next. But my philosopher dad knew just what to say.

Into the Unknown

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My dead fiancé loved Anthony Bourdain. When I heard the beloved chef and TV personality had died, I imagined the two of them, finally, breaking bread.

A Fitting Farewell in Atlantic City

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Here’s how we said goodbye to my clever, caustic, complicated mother.

Dad-Die Issues

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Death brings up so many feelings and conversations. Plans to be made. Legacies to cement. I had none of that.

Time Machine in a Timepiece

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In telling me he wanted me to have his beloved watch, Dad was also letting me know his days were numbered.

Writing With Heart From Behind Bars

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I teach memoir writing at a prison. One week, the topic was loss. My students really went there — and so did I.

After a Teenager’s Death, Metaphors Fail

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My friend's 16-year-old daughter was hit by a car and I struggled to write about it. Because no words can truly encapsulate the zero of grief.

Purple Rain on Father’s Day

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My dad and the rock star Prince had everything and nothing in common. This is the time of year I feel their absence most acutely.

What This Mother Told Her Dying Son

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Her words were perfect.

Sewing - Modern Loss

The Sewing Blogs Were My Salvation

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After my baby died, I didn’t know what to do with my hands. But then I found the sewing blogs.

My Mother’s Day Trifecta

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I lost my mom, my stepmom, and my dream of mothering a child of my own. On Mother’s Day, people say the darndest things to me.

What I Did With My Husband’s Life Insurance Money

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During the rawest moments of my grief, what I bought helped me breathe easier.

The Autopsy Report Should Have Been Anticlimactic. It Was Anything But.

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My beloved husband died, leaving me with three children and another on the way. But it was a letter from the coroner’s office that did me in.

‘Congratulate Kim on Her Work Anniversary’

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The upside of LinkedIn’s reminder about my dead friend.  

What I Tell My Kids About Their Brother Who Died Before They Were Born

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Even in Seamus' absence, our four-person household continues to feel to us like a family of five.

Does Moving Away Mitigate Grief?

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Thousands of miles now separate me from the landmarks of my memories with Dad. Here's what the distance has changed — and what it hasn't.

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