Personal Essays

The Best Things in My Life Came From My Brother’s Death

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The best things in my life really did come out of my brother's death.

Why I Like Funerals More Than Weddings

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"Four Weddings and a Funeral"? I'd rather watch "Four Funerals and a Wedding."

Dad’s Voice in the ‘Tower of Song’

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The last time I spoke to my father, the subject was, of all things, Leonard Cohen — the musician my dad believed brought 'punctuation to experience.'

Executive Producing Your Own Goodbye

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My father-in-law was a planner his entire life. The end was no exception.

Riding and Hiding in My Griefmobile

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No matter how intense my feelings, my car always comes to the rescue, with available music, clean tissues, and much-needed privacy.

As My Wife’s Due Date Approached, My Mother Was Defying Death

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I told myself she was holding on to meet the baby. My father and sister had other explanations.

And Visions of Baseball Danced in My Head

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My mom found healing watching the Kansas City Royals. After she died, so did I.

Exercise in Avoidance

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The walk home from school was long — like four-hours long the way we did it. But it kept us out of an apartment full of grief triggers.

A Physical Place to Mourn a Virtual Friendship

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My friend and I encountered each other over social media and business travel. So it was complicated when he died, but my daily routine didn't change.

My 6 Years of Anticipatory Grief

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My daughter died after an unsuccessful heart transplant. But I've lived very real stages of loss since even before she entered the world.

After My Miscarriage, I Was Still Pregnant

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We were expecting triplets. So why does everyone insist on calling it a 'blessing in disguise' that only two of our babies made it to term?

My Sister, The Fly

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The most persistent house fly entered my world the same day my sister left it. But what I didn’t realize was that my sister hadn’t actually left.

Being Heard

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There was something about my first days as a mother that reminded me of my final moments with my own mother. Neither my newborn nor my mother could talk back. But could they understand me?

The Writing Life

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My friend allowed me no excuses for unfinished work. When she died, I thought I’d never put pen to paper again.

Sleeping Through Grandma’s Death

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When I finally came to after a months-long coma, my beloved grandmother was gone.

Closure Is a Unicorn

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My father and I struggled to understand each other. His death was what made me realize I can both love him and being angry with him.

He’s Dead, But He’s No Saint

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My husband cheated on me again and again — but people give him a pass because he died in a tragic Thanksgiving Day scuba accident.

Giving Birth at the Age Mom Died

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I had my children young, keeping in mind that my own mother died 46. Now I’m 46, missing my mother, grieving my 12-year-old son, and also happily, unexpectedly pregnant.

The Stillbirth Status Updates I Really Wanted to Write

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Here's what I really wanted to write about my pregnancy loss: mother of two, one living.

Speak for Your Self

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My sister had a right to be stubborn in facing terminal cancer — even if the rest of us disagreed with her choices.

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