Father Loss

The Myth of Protecting People from Suffering

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When we try to shield people from pain in an effort to not break their hearts, we end up doing just the opposite.

Important Guidelines for Large Adult Orphans

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On the one hand, you must become both parent and child; on the other, you may request to to be flown to Rome for a pasta dinner.

‘My Death Stories Are My Birth Stories’

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That precious, precarious, otherworldly state of giving birth reminded me of something else: grief.

Don’t Talk About How ‘It Gets Better’

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This is what I wish my friends knew when my parents died.

When You’re Everyone’s Favorite Grief Doula

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The first of my friends to lose a parent, I stand at the ready welcoming others into the club no one wants to join.

‘Querida Amor’

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My father was scary to me except on Valentine’s Day. When he died, those treacly annual expressions of fatherly love went with him.

Manhattan skyline - Modern Loss

Welcome to New York

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Suddenly worth half a million dollars through the dumb luck of my dad's death, I rooted myself to a new and unfamiliar home.

A Year of Grief, 15 Seconds at a Time

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After my dad's murder, Instagram served as both my grief counselor and a surprising professional outlet.

Grief Bacon: Breastfeeding Through My Grief

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After Dad died, my body felt numb, but my breasts soldiered on.

The Pittsburgh of My Dreams

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By day, I am aware that 23 years have passed since my father’s death. When I close my eyes, it’s a different story.

My Childhood’s Signature Scent

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The smell of tobacco brings my late father — and his favorite vice — back into my airspace.

Just Sit (and Other Simple Steps to Meditate Your Way Through Grief)

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My dad's meditation advice helped me to cope with his death -- and more. Here's how it can help you, too.

My Dad Was Dying While I Was Divorcing

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I vowed never to speak with my ex-husband again. Then my father was diagnosed with leukemia.

On Father’s Day, Grief Tastes Like Berry Cobbler

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When Dad was here, we made olallieberry jam on Father’s Day. Now that he’s gone, our sweet tradition has evolved. 

The Big Question and the Perfect Answer

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It isn't easy asking a dying person what they believe comes next. But my philosopher dad knew just what to say.

Dad-Die Issues

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Death brings up so many feelings and conversations. Plans to be made. Legacies to cement. I had none of that.

Time Machine in a Timepiece

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In telling me he wanted me to have his beloved watch, Dad was also letting me know his days were numbered.

Purple Rain on Father’s Day

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My dad and the rock star Prince had everything and nothing in common. This is the time of year I feel their absence most acutely.

Does Moving Away Mitigate Grief?

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Thousands of miles now separate me from the landmarks of my memories with Dad. Here's what the distance has changed — and what it hasn't.

Vacant Seats

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I heard about Justice Scalia’s death at one of my last dinners with my beloved, if complicated, father. Months on, as the justice’s seat sat unfilled, so did Dad’s.

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